"It’s Saturday night where I am and I’m guessing that a lot of you are going to end up drunk, high or in a stranger’s bed. There’s something you all need to remember; you don’t need that bottle of vodka to talk to that cute boy, you don’t need to get high in a club bathroom to escape the demons of your past. No matter how many times that cute boy says he’ll love you in the morning, he’s lying. Yes, it will feel nice to be needed for the night but when morning comes that boy will tell you to leave and that is was fun but he will never call you. He will leave you and you’ll go back to feeling empty. Now I don’t know this from personal experience but I’ve seen enough friends peel themselves off the bathroom floor to know that this is not what you need. If you’re chasing the high or feeling of drunken bliss, you can find it in other places. If you’re looking for that warm feeling of being needed, you can find it in better places than the bed of that cute boy from the bar. You deserve to be loved forever for who you truly are, not who you are when you’re just trying to forget your life."
1. I still love you, I don’t think I ever stopped, some nights I start shaking so hard I can’t feel anything but my bones breaking and I lose all the feeling in my chest but I still love you
2. I wish you would call me, I miss your voice, I miss listening to you fall asleep, I miss the sound of your breath washing through my hair
3. I planted flowers in my backyard, I was going to yank them out of the ground and leave them on the side of the road to symbolize the death of you and me but god they were so pretty I left them in the ground to rot
4. I deleted your number but it’s still stained onto my hand where you wrote it in green pen 6 months ago
5. Maybe if I could just kiss you we’d be okay
6. I wish I could kiss you
7. I tried to read your favorite poem but I ended up choking on my words, I can’t stop coughing. I wish you were here.
8. I’d do anything for you, it’s really fucked up, I don’t think you care anymore, I’m pretty sure I don’t mean anything to you anymore but jesus fuck if you told me to swim to the edge of the earth, I’d do it.
9. I miss you so much. You’re still here but not like you were oh god oh god I miss how good we were, we were the best.
10. My best friend asked me how you’re doing and I think I started crying
11. I don’t know what I did to make you stop loving me
12. I’m really sorry
13. Please come back
14. It’s okay that you’re not here anymore, I don’t really mind anymore
15. You’re breaking my fucking heart
16. I need you here"
my self esteem has two levels
- im a worthless piece of shit who deserves no love
- bow down before bitches i am your queen
if you ever call me annoying, even if it’s just jokingly, the chances of me ever speaking to you again are slim to none because I’ll be so afraid that every little word or sound that comes out of my mouth will aggravate you and make you cringe and hate my existence
i am so jealous of all the people who are comfortable with who they are physically and mentally